TheLifeandTimesofaMom

Life and Times of a Mommy(:

Four Years…

This was taken on Easter. That is mine and my little brother's hand over my belly. This was the weekend before I had him

This was taken on Easter. That is mine and my little brother’s hand over my belly. This was the weekend before I had him

April 18th, 2010 started out like any other Sunday morning. I was 36 weeks pregnant and as big as a house. I mean ginormous. I woke up, got dressed in the comfiest dress I owned, and went to church with my parents. After church, my step mom and I went to Taco Bell. I told her that I was having some weird crampy pains in my stomach. They didn’t really hurt, they were just kind of annoying. “Oh,” she said, “I bet it’s the Taco Bell acting up. I bet Trey doesn’t like it.” So off we went to my baby shower.

The shower was at my best friends house. Sadly, she was at work. But my other best friend was nice enough to show. So there I was sitting there on my best friend’s mom’s prized leather couch. Everyone was getting there food and drinks and party favors. They were all women from my step mom’s Sunday school class, so they were also discussing the sermon and class from earlier. The presents were scattered haphazardly around me waiting to be opened. I glanced over at my best friend and whispered, “you know it would really suck if my water broke right now…”

“WHAT?!?! Your water just broke!?!” My best friend practically shrieked across the room. She was, and still to this day, not the master of subtly, or quietness. My eyes got really big and went to shush her aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then I felt it. A little trickle that kinda felt like I peed myself. Every one’s heads jerked in my direction. I’m pretty sure I heard a couple of necks crack from the sheer force they were cranked at. My step mom rushed me off to the bathroom to check and make sure everything was ok. I sat there on the toilet for a few seconds and she poked her head in the bathroom, caught a glimpse of my undies and said “Yup. It broke.”

The hostess gave me a pair of clean, dry panties and a pad. I slid them on and walked back into the living room to hear my step mom say something about finishing with the presents before we went to the hospital. (We were literally like 5 or 6 minutes away from the hospital.) So. I finished opening my presents, picked what I wanted to take to the hospital with me, packed everything up, and left. On the way, I called my dad and told him to pack a bag for me with my green plaid pants with the pink ribbon tie, a couple t shirts and some undies because we were going to the hospital just in case.

This is my little man at a few weeks old layin' on his Nanna

This is my little man at a few weeks old layin’ on his Nanna

About 8 hours, an almost fight in the delivery room, a small scare with my little man facing the wrong way, and a lovely discussion about who was going to win which category on the CMAs later, my little bundle of joy was finally here. Born at 7 pounds, 9 ounces and 20 inches long, my little man was finally here. He was gorgeous. He was so sweet. He was all mine. He made me feel whole.

Good Friday, April 18th, 2014, that little bundle of joy, my little man, will be four years old. He is growing up on me so fast. Next year he will be starting Kindergarten. He can use the potty by himself, completely and totally. He doesn’t need Mommy to dress him (even though I still do). He doesn’t need help eating anymore. He doesn’t cuddle anymore, too much energy for that. His laugh has changed from that cute baby giggle to that cute little kid laugh. It seems like yesterday he was my little baby. Now he really is growing up into a great little man. For four years, I’ve watched him grow and become this awesome little person. I cannot wait to see what the rest of the future has in store for me. He can be a handful, but he will always be my baby, my little man.

 

This is my little man on his first day of school. Look how grown up he looks.

This is my little man on his first day of school. Look how grown up he looks.

 

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Day Seven

Day Seven. This may be my favoritest post yet in this challenge. Today’s truth is someone who has made your life worth living. There are many people that bring joy to my life. There are many people who I love dearly and can’t imagine them not being in my life. But there is one person, actually one little boy, who means more than word can describe to me. That would be my three year old son, Trey.

You guys have heard a little about what happened here, but not the full story. Just that his dad left me and I was all set to be a single mom when he came back and it just was craziness. Well. There is more to the story. You guys also know that I have depression and anxiety. What you don’t know is that when not on medicine, I get pretty down.

When his daddy broke up with me the first time, I balled my eyes out and asked God to give him back to me. I cried so hard that my dad, who didn’t trust me with medicines for obvious reasons, had to give me Dramamine so I could calm down enough to sleep. When he walked out the second time, the same thing happened. I cried and begged God to give him back to me. Little did I know, that feeling of abandonment and hopelessness would only get worse.

After I moved out of his apartment, we didn’t talk about anything but my amazing little boy. But then, right after he turned one, we decided to try and work it out again for him. Stupid me, thought it would work. Our relationship quickly faded back into what it was. Then one night I was up long after everyone was asleep. (I was living with my then best friend and there were some people over.) I asked him something, I don’t even remember what now. I can’t remember what he said either, I just know it crushed me. That night was the first night I seriously considered hurting myself.

But, as I sat in the dark living room, by myself, I thought about the baby asleep just on the other side of the wall. I thought about the way his face lit up when he saw me, him taking his first steps, him saying his first word, and all the milestones I would miss if I were to do anything. The love I would miss out on if I left my amazing little boy.

Every time I get down or have a really bad day, I go home and I cuddle my baby. The baby that will never understand just how much mom loves him and how much mommy needs him. This three year old, bouncing, frustrating, loving, exasperating, amazing little boy definitely made my life worth living.

This is my little man on his nanna's horse, Carlos, wearing his uncle's hat. His poppy is leading the horse around but you can't see him. My step mom cropped him out.

This is my little man on his nanna’s horse, Carlos, wearing his uncle’s hat. His poppy is leading the horse around but you can’t see him. My step mom cropped him out.

 

 

 

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