TheLifeandTimesofaMom

Life and Times of a Mommy(:

What. Have. I. Done?!?!?!

So everyone remembers The Great Hair Catastrophe right? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell……. It has happened again. Yes. You read that right. I have had another Great Hair Catastrophe. And I’m honestly not sure which is worse… Everyone tells me that this one is not that bad, but I absolutely hate it.. Like heat from the 7th circle of hell… (That’s a place right? I mean I’ve never read Daunte’s inferno or anything like that… So I’m not sur…) But here’s the story.

I had this super bright (no sarcasam there I swear) idea that I would donate ten inches to Locks of Love. This one charity that I truly love hearing about. I’ve been growing my hair out for over a year now. Probably about a year a half.

This is what I started with..

This is what I started with..

My hair was down to about the middle of my back. I went in to my hair stylist on Valentine’s day and decided it was time to cut it off. I had been playing around with the idea for a while because I have extremely thick hair. So I had finally made the decision to chop it off. Measured it, and it was just over 10 inches. (Which is how much you have to 10 inches to donate.)

So the stylist set to cutting. And cutting. And cutting. Aaaaaaaaaaand cutting. And then the styling started… Don’t get me wrong I love my stylist. She’s great. She did a great job when she died my hair. But I think we took a little too much off when we cut it… Because now I hate it. Like I feel like I just stepped out of the 1920s and I should be wearing a flapper dress with my boobs tapped down, sitting in a basement turned speakeasy drinking illegally made moonshine.

I’m not sure if it was because styled it with a straightener and the curls where just massive but I’m still waiting to fall in love with my new cut… Guess it will just have to grow on me.. (Insert drum and symbols and my horribly lame pun..)

 

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Don’t forget to catch all the other great stories at YeahWrite!!

 

For those interested, here is the guidelines for donating and volunteering.

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It’s happened…..

The one thing I hoped and prayed would never happen in all 18 years of raising my child. My oldest, Trey, the three year old, had learned to cuss…. It’s safe to say that I am mortified. Probably beyond mortified, but I’m not totally sure what is beyond that…. So I’m just going to stick with mortified.

This is probably my favorite picture of a child throwing a fit. Don't know what's going on but it fits my mental image perfectly!

This is probably my favorite picture of a child throwing a fit. Don’t know what’s going on but it fits my mental image perfectly!

A few weeks ago, I got a call from my wonderfull husband on the way home from work. My child had hit, bit, probably hit, and called the director of his daycare every name in the book except for white girl. Needless to say, my mouth had punched a hole through the car floor and was dragging along behind my car getting road rash while I was driving. My child has NEVER EVER EVERNEVERNEVEREVERNEVEREVERNEVER acted like that before in all his three and a half years on this planet.  He was so bad that the daycare was considering calling me to come get him. His explination behind this horrendous episode? He wanted his tractor. I was absolutely shocked. I called my dad and told him it was official. I couldn’t disown my son. He acts just. Like. Me. Preeeeeeety scary……

Last week, I got a text message from one of his teachers that I am SUPER DUPER UBER close with. (Back story: she was the director of the daycare I went to when I was in elementary school. She pinned me down and sat on me one time while she was like 7 months pregnant because I was trying to run off. See why I can’t deny that he’s my son?)  She said that he had kicked her and called her a bitch. I almost fell out into the floor at my office. I could not believe my child was acting like this again!!! My child just doesn’t do stuff like that…. I asked the teacher if I needed to come pick him up. Her response was almost priceless: “No. I just wanted to let you know. I’m playing on Facebook while he throws his fit. I think that makes him more mad than anything because I’m not paying attention to him. He’s so cute.” I smiled to myself, because I knew she was thinking back to when I was younger and all the hell I put her through. I’m the reason she has wrinkles and gray hair, not her three children.

I asked her what the reasoning behind this episode was. She said that he was told to go to the bathroom, but there was another little girl in there and we guess he didn’t want to wait. A few minutes later, she text me again. Again, the text was priceless. “Dude,” she said, “he just stopped in mid yell and told me he was ready to go back to class.” At this point, I could picture what was going on in the office where they were sitting. She was probably about to fall on the floor from laughing so hard, and he was probably looking at her like she was crazy.

Pop quiz time!!! Where you paying attention? I hope so. Ready? It’s an easy one, promise. Only one question. Okay. Here it is.

If  your child acted like this at school/daycare/caregiver’s, what would be your form of punishment? This is a hige debate between hubby and I. He thinks that Trey should be grounded for a few days, along with a spanking. I, on the other hand, disagree. I think a spanking when he gets home, and being in trouble for one night is good enough. So. There is your quiz. You’re on the clock! Ready?!?! On your mark! Get set! Go!!!!

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This Can’t Be Happening.

“Oh. My. Gosh!” were the only words that could describe the utter terror I felt when I ripped out half my eyebrow thanks to a lovely face mask I found on Pintrest Friday night. Yes. You read that right. I ripped out part of my eye brow. With a face mask. Found on Pintrest.

“What?! What did you do?” my husband asked from his spot on the other side of the room. As I explained his face went from horror to amusement to trying not to laugh as his wife stood over him on the verge of tears. Tears of pain and humiliation.

The mask I found was a DIY mask that had two ingredients: milk and unflavored gelatin. You mix a tablespoon or so of each, microwave it for a few seconds, and immediately apply it to your face. Once it hardens you peel it off. The thing said that it pulls out black heads and leaves your face baby butt smooth. I was all for this because I just had about 500 black heads pop up on my chin, nose, and forehead.

So it got hard (that’s what she said…sorry couldn’t resist), and I started pulling the mask off. Man, it was like waxing!! I pulled off a couple pieces next to my eyebrow and noticed a few hairs but ignored it. I got the stuff of my chin, most of my forehead, my nose, and a little off my jaw. (It wouldn’t harden on my jaw for some reason.) Then I went to pull it off of my eyebrow… Aaaaaaand there went half of it. In my hand. Needless to say, I didn’t go anywhere Saturday and the only reason I got out of my house Sunday was because my grandma needed me to come help her jump start her car. Which turned into a trip to the grocery store. Then I just thought “what the hell…might as well go to church…”. And I’m of course at work…

Thankfully no one has said anything about it unless I point it out. So, obviously I haven’t pointed it out to too many people. Just two of my best friends and my grandma. They were nice enough to not bust out laughing at me like my husband almost did… Guess it’s time to invest in a brow pencil… Hopefully I can’t screw that up to bad.

And for your viewing pleasure, my lovely missing eyebrow...

And for your viewing pleasure, my lovely missing eyebrow…

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Part Numero Uno.

The day I scared myself so bad I almost stopped driving, I had (thankfully) already dropped my little man off at daycare and was on my way to my seven o’clock class. I always took back roads to school because I drove a 1996 Dodge Neon. Needless to say, it did not do good on the highway. So. I was driving down the road and  I started dozing off. Craaaaaap, I was thinking, I’m going to fall asleep at the wheel and wreck and get hurt or die. Sooo I’m driving along, and all of a sudden BANG!!! I hit something.

I look over and see a low yellow wall. This wall has been there forever. If I stood next to it it would hit be about mid calf. On the other side of this low wall is a shallow ditch. Not deep enough to kill anyone, I don’t think, but its deep enough to really rattle you if you were to go over the wall. My dad, the mechanic, was the first person I called.

“Dad! I just almost ran off the road. I fell asleep while driving and I hit that little yellow wall in Johnson by Michael’s house!!” I was freaking out. My heart was racing and I was scared out of my mind.

“Is the car okay? Can you still drive it?” where his only two questions. Yes the car is okay and yes I can still drive it. Good, he said, then go to school. So. Off to school I went.

This is what my car looked like waaaay before I got it!

This is what my car looked like waaaay before I got it!

At the time of this accident, I was working four in the afternoon to midnight Mondays and Fridays, nine in the morning to six in the evening on Saturdays, and noon to nine at night on Sundays. I was also taking twelve hours of classes, working an internship from one in the afternoon to four in the afternoon at the university barn, and feeding horses Wednesday and Thursday nights. On top of taking care of a six month old baby, by myself. Talk about an overload…

Every time I drive past that wall, I have a flash back and scare the crap out of myself. To this day, I think about how bad it could have ended if I had been anywhere else. Had I been on the highway or on just about any other road I could have gone off the road and hit something much more substantial. Every day I thank my lucky stars that I had been on that road when I had fallen asleep.

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Moments

The challenge this week is to write about a moment that identifies us. One that has stuck with us. whether its from this morning or from years ago.

I’ve spent a good three days thinking about that moment. I’ve started, erased, started again, and trashed many beginnings. I’ve even gotten ha;f way though a couple. The problem is picking a moment and putting it into words. Taking a snapshot of life and describing the feelings, the emotions, the intensity of that moment. So that every body understand is. And doing it in 60 words or less.

There are so many moments in my life it’s hard to pick just one. (And you guys already know about my most defining one. The one where I almost redecorated the inside of my dad’s truck and then told him what was going on.) So, I thought I would do an overview of a few moments that stand out in my mind.

March/April, 2000. My great grandmother had just passed away, and it was up to the family to go through her things and decide what to do with them. I was seeing parts of her I never knew about.

September, 2000. I walked into a hospital room and was greeted with “hey baby!”. This was the first time in 5 years or so the my great grandmother remembered me. She passed away three days later.

February, 2001. My great grandfather left this world to join the love of his life on the most fitting of days, Valentines Day. His best friend and companion, his fog Buster, laid next to him for hours until a friend came to visit and found him.

Med-end, 2005. I laid to rest, the last thing that connected me to my beloved great grandparents: their dog Buster.

Summer, 2009. I went to summer school and met a boy. That boy was already taken so he introduced me to his friend. We started dating.

September, 2009; New Years Eve. 2009; August, 2010. The times that boy left me. (Obviously April 2010 is in there, as that’s when I had my son.)

April, 2011. In a smoke filled hooka lounge, some people randomly sat across a table from us because there was nowhere else to sit. That is the night that I met my husband. He didn’t say much, as he is shy, but we realized we knew each other when we met again on a dating website.

These are just a few of the moments that stand out in my mind. Some are obvious;y happier than others. I should have learned a lesson from some of them. In their own way, each moment defines me. Each moment tells you a little something about me. They all say something different. Some mean more than others, some hurt more than others, and some are happier than others.

Everyone would handle each of these moments in a different way. Me? I choose to use them to make me stronger. When most people would be broken down, I use them to build me up. To remind me what I have been through and what I can handle. Especially on those days that try to break me.

Moments. They can change your life and do one of two things, make you or break you. It’s all up to you.

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Fate

He dug himself a whole in the ground. Was that how the saying went? He usually messed up a word or two in long sayings. All he knew was he was screwed. Out of luck. Done for.

James stared up at the ominous building. The only ting that looked remotely eye catching about the building he may or may not work in anymore is the molding stuff around the top. The fray stone held nothing interesting. The windows, nondescript rectangles of glass, looked over a bleak street.

Time to face the music, he thought. The revolving door seemed to spin faster than usual, a flood of people going in and out. The elevator, the slowest on in the entire city, was of course packed with people up until floor twelve. Two more floors. Then his fate would be decided. One more floor. Then he would come clean. James stepped out into the plush white carpet and turned to face a secretary who gave nothing away.

Dug a hole. Not in the ground, just a hole. He dug himself a hole. That was the saying.

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The sentence we were to start with this week is “he dug himself a hole in the ground”. There was also a photo to reference. Go check the photo and other stories out! Don’t forget to vote Thursday and Friday!!

 

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Sorry Guys!!

Ohmigosh guys!! Things have been so crazy lately!! I’ve gotten so many comments on my Speakeasy and Challenge Grid stories!! Keeping up with all them has kinda taken away from my whole writing. Plus Wednesday was my 21st birthday!! Woo Wooo!!!! Saturday night I went out with my hubby and found a new favorite drink!! Sex on the beach. Oh. My. Sweet Mary Mother of all things Good and Chocolaty!!! I’ve never had a more delicious drink in. My. Life!!!! Ladies. If you haven’t tried it, I strongly suggest you go to your local bar IMMEDIATELY!!!  It’s amazing. Just. Just. Words cannot describe. I had four of them babies last night!! Woo!

Anyways. I may or may not post, in great detail, about my fun time at the bars. My lovely best friend got beyond wasted and somewhat ruined it. Before then my hubby and I were just chillin’ at a restaurant and then in the front of a bar. So it was a very laid  back night until she showed up.

BUT!! There will be a new post up soon! I’m entering the Challenge and Speakeasy Grid again this week. So be on the look out for those and go check out the other submissions and vote for the best ones!!

 

P.S. GUYS!! I didn’t win the Speakeasy or Challenge Grid, BUUUUT! I did win a gift certificate for a doll or a quilt. I’m asking the lovely ladies at Yeah Write to give the generous gift to someone else, as I have boys and about 15,000 quilts from every grandmother on both sides of my family. They tend to get hard to store after a while…

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We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Blog

Sorry for the side note guys. I’ve been seeing Yeah Write on a couple blogs that I read and  I wanted to check it out. That was my first entry and it was on the Speakeasy grid. So. Yeah. Back to our regularly scheduled blog post. Which on pet peeves when writing.

I’ve been surfing this other site (I will leave out it’s name because once you get on that site, you never leave!!! It takes your soul and never gives it back!!!)…ahem… Right. So I’ve been surfing this other site that shall remain nameless (it’s not Facebook) and I’ve noticed a lot of spelling and grammar errors. Yes, I know it’s the internet. But I mean come on, some of the people on the site type like they haven’t even learned to speak correctly!! So here is the major thing that bugs the ever loving bajesus out of me…

Dat/Dem/Dey/Dis. Yes “dey” and “dem” are used. I understand you wanna be cool and whatnot. But those words? Not cool. They make you look like an idiot that doesn’t know how to talk. You need to go back to kindergarden and learn to speak. It’s just sad… I lose a little bit of my faith in humanity when I see these words. Just stop. Please.


There was going to be more but I honestly can’t think of any more besides the obvious your/you’re, to/too/two, there/their/they’re.. So! What grammatical error that people use on line bugs the crap out of you? 

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Change

The picture was beautiful. Flawless perfection. Such a lovely, enchanting scene. Four, dainty eggs laying in a perfect nest in a serene, out of the way place.

Beautiful, flawless, enchanting. These weren’t words normally used to describe her, Whale, homely, garbage. Those were words used to describe her. Everyone said those things, and worse. Her parents said them. Kids at school said them. People walking down the street in her small town.

Never again. The will never say those things again. Not after today. She would show them. She would move away, reinvent herself. No one would ever think of her as the sad fat girl from high school that hid behind her camera. No. She would show them. And she wasn’t about to let anything get in her way.

 

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This is the speakeasy challenge for Yeah Write. We were supposed to use the sentence “She wasn’t about to let anything get in her way” and a photo to reference but not write about in a short (500 words or less) fictional poem or story.  So enjoy!!

 

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