Life and Times of a Mommy(:

Search Terms (Volume 2)

So. To everyone that found my blog accidentally because you were looking for something else. Welcome. Nice to meet you. Nice to see you. Yada, yada, yada. You guys have been looking for some CRAZY ASS sh*t…. Seriously.

Category OneIn which people think I’m a different race and are intrested in hair.

hairstyle for round face asian
japanese cute hairstyles curly
nude asian redheads
dass hairstyles

K. So. Everyone knows that I’m whiter than white, right? Like seriously. I glow in the dark. I’m not Asian in any way, shape, or form. Everyone understand? Great.

Now, for the hair styles. I guess there is a salon in Texas called Dass salon and spa. So I guess people where look up them? As for the Asian styles, can’t help ya there guys.. Sorry.

Category Two. In which we have daddy’s, best friends, and some awkward moments.

daddy girls moms live
i’m only 11 daddy
daddy’s girl
best friends
best friends bilder
best friends pictures

First off, it builder. Spelled with a u. Second, why do you need a best friend builder?! Best friends are made over a life time. Yeah you can strengthen the relationship by getting to know each other but I don’t know what a best friend builder will do. Have you learned to spell builder yet?

I don’t know if the world has made me think the worst or what, but I don’t know want to know what the I’m only 11 one is about. And moms live? What is that?! Geez…

Category Three. In which we have everything else.

search term volume
will arkids pay for ear nose throat
spring images
xdanigirl wordpress
sexy man candy pics

First. Bubbles are fun. Bubbles are nice. Who doesn’t like bubbles?! Bubbles and spring images seem like the would go together. Right? Second. Someone apparently likes reading about search terms. Because they found my blog! Third. Heaven knows I talk about sexy man candy enough that SOMEONE should find my blog because of it.

Someone was actually looking for my WordPress account, guys!! Look!! I’m famous!! Okay no not really but I can dream.

Will ArKids pay for ear, nose, and throat? Yes, yes they will. IF you have a referral from your doctor. If the original referral has expired, you will need to get another one. If you have changed doctors since the referral expired, you will need to let your doctor know and go to their office and have  check up and let them issue another referral. If you do not have a referral you will have to pay for the visit your self. It will be an out-freaking-rageous price for whatever you need done. So, I suggest you do everything in your power to get a referral. 


And there ya go. There are our search terms for the month of May! Come back next month for more fun and awkwardness!!


O Medicaid, How I Despise You……too…..




Medicaid in my state is called Arkids (Arkansas Kids. Cheesy right?) It’s government funded. And like almost anything the government does, its ridonculously complicated. Why? BECAUSE THEY CAN!!!  And getting anything done takes, ya know, however long they want. My oldest will be three in April. In the past almost three years I have almost pulled countless people through the phone, almost ripped their face off, and almost shoved said ripped off face down their throat. (This was of course after I almost pulled their head out of their ass.)

For medicaid, like any other insurance I’m sure, you have to assign a Primary Care Physician (PCP) to the child. The first time we had medicaid the hospital helped us me set it up. Because, as I had literally just turned 18 the day before, I had medicaid and it (somehow) automatically went to my son. (I think. I mean, I just had a long, thin tube stuck in my back, pushed a watermelon out in 15 minutes flat, and moved rooms like three times. The nurse could have been asking me to sign my soul over to the devil, which was basically what I did anyway, and I would have closed one eye, stuck my tongue out, and try really hard to sign on one of the two or three lines I saw in a semi legible scripts. Which is probably what I looked like signing it…) So the hospital told me to pick one of the doctors I had seen in the three days that I was there and that would be the PCP.

Then, according to the court, his daddy had to put my son on his insurance. Alright. No big deal. The surgery on his foot (story for another time) and for the tubes in his ears were paid for already so whatever. And I thought medicaid was hard to deal with…. The court decided his daddy needed to have insurance on him in June after he turned one. He got insurance  on him almost right away. Then it was cancelled and he didn’t have insurance for a good six months to a year. At which time I broke down and got him medicaid again.

Being the good mommy I am, I set up a PCP. At a totally different clinic than where he went when he was born. WIth a doctor I’d never met. Then my second son was born. And I set up a PCP for him. With a different doctor than my oldest. Across town. With a doctor I’d never met. Our first appointment with that doctor? Sat in the room with a fussy baby who got shots for three hours and forty-five minutes before the doctor ever came. After she walked past the door three times looking for his room. A 15 minute visit was all we got. Oh, and the doctor informed me that I was doing things wrong and treated me like an incompetent child. This same doctor proceeded to misdiagnose my child during later visits. Another doctor looked in his ears and said “I don’t think he had an ear infection. I couldn’t really get a good look in one ear but the other looks fine.”

Excuse me.

You don’t think my son has an ear infection….

“No, but if he gets a fever or anything, come back.”



I’m sure you are staring at your computer screen right now with the same look I gave the doctor and trying not to do a face palm. And you are probably wondering why in the heck I haven’t changed doctors. Well. It’s government funded so everything has to be hard Including assigning and changing a doctor.

You see, only certain doctors take medicaid and they only take a certain amount of said medicaid patients. Once they reach their limit, they don’t take any more. So, of course, since the universe hates me and all, every. Single. Doctor. I want, in my county, has a full case load. I can call everyday and check if I wanted. Why don’t I call every day and check you ask? Simple, my friend, very simple. I spend an average of five minutes on hold after listening to the automated voice list menu options. For three minutes. And I mean really, who had time for that crap?!




And if you didn’t realize how ridiculous my current doctor’s office and medicaid is, let me reiterate it for ya.

Back story.

I’m trying to get my oldest into a free program at a daycare called the ABC program. For this I need a hearing test and physical. Along with some other paper work. Physical, you say, no problem. WRONG!! That is all explained here. Hearing and eye test for a 2 year old? is probably your next question. Really? Yes, dear reader, really. Really, really. So guess what time it is?! REFERRAL TIME!! Woot woot! ……………………just kidding.

Eye test? Scheduled. No referral. No problem!

Hearing test? Act of friggin Congress!!


I call his current doctor and tell them I need a referral for a hearing test. Well. They can’t just hand out referrals because that would be to easy. And there has to be a reason. Um…it’s for daycare. Not a good enough reason. Ok. He has tubes in his ears and he need them checked. Ok. They can do that. Awesome! (This was yesterday.) Ready to get confuzzled??

(Today.) I call the ear, nose, and throat clinic to see if they got the referral. Nope. Ok. Back to the doctor’s office. Well they can’t write a referral because they aren’t the clinic that wrote the referral for the tubes in the first place. Alright. I call the doctor’s office that wrote the original referral. They can’t write the referral because they aren’t the PCP. The ear, nose, and throat clinic has to have a referral or I have to pay for the visit. Which costs anywhere from $150 to $300. Crazy right? It gets crazier, just wait.

So I call the daycare that hosts the program. The director tells me to just have the doctor’s office write a letter sating they can’t/won’t write a referral. Ok. No prob! Wrong, yet again. The doctor’s office can’t/won’t write a letter saying they can’t/won’t write a referral. Why? Because they just don’t do that. After hearing this I proceed to tell the nurse that if it wasn’t the for medicaid, I wouldn’t fo to that office because it was worst on I have ever dealt with.
(In the end the director simply had me write a letter a letter and told me to get it notarized.)

But, I mean really, does getting this stuff really need to be an act of God? Do I need to have the great man Himself come down and tell you my kid needs this stuff? Or do I need to get Congress to pass a law? Oh….wait….. They would never agree on anything. Maybe I just need to change my skin color…. Apparently I’m the wrong color to get help…. Hmmm…. What to do, what to do…






**The above statement is in no way, shape, or form, meant to be rude or racist. Just stating a fact.**


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