Life and Times of a Mommy(:

This a little late, but my computer and I had issues!

June 29, 2012, afternoon. I convinced my husband to take me to the hospital because I was having some pretty intense irregular contractions. So, off we went. I was soon admitted with pre-term labor. I spent a week in the hospital. The first night was the worst.
They pumped this stuff in me called magnesium citrate to stop the contractions. I don’t take IVs well in the first place. So first they gave me morphine for pain and phenagren for the nausea caused be morphine. With my arm on fire from that, they then gave me the magnesium citrate. It felt like I was on fire from one wrist, up my arm, across my chest, and down my other arm. I then proceeded to hold a plastic barf bag up to my face and tried not to dry heave. And of course, since I was in pain, I held my breath. Which made my blood oxygen levels plummet and the blood pressure cuff go crazy. Then (going to get a little TMI here for a minute) they felt a need to insert a catheter, after I repeatedly told them no, because I didn’t have to pee. After removing it, I screamed and cried and whimpered and tried to not to cut off the circulation in my husband’s hand for about 30 minutes. My step mom, who was my rock through this whole ordeal, was in Texas. My parents cut their vacation short and drove 6 hours to come be with me. By that time, the pain in everything but my arm had stopped. I was poked and prodded every four hours the first twenty-four hours, because of the magnesium. Then, I thought I was having contractions yet again, and they took my food away. Who in their right mind takes food away from a pregnant woman?! Did they want to die?! But, anyways.
After that I was in the hospital every weekend for a month, with no changes. Just irregular contractions. One time, a doctor told me that I could stay over night in the labor and delivery room I was in, if I really wanted to. I said no, wanting to sleep in my own bed.

Friday, July 13, 2012, 9 pm. (Of course it was the 13th. Just my luck right?!) My husband and I had just left the dollar movie theater after watching What to Expect When You Are Expecting. (Guys. If you haven’t seen this movie, I suggest you watch it ASAP. It’s a great movie!!) When we got in the car, I started having some uncomfortable contractions, but they weren’t regular enough for me to time. We got home and I went to lay down. Within about 30 minutes I was in tears from the pain. It wasn’t that it hurt really bad, it was uncomfortable and I didn’t really know what was going on. I’d spent a week, and every weekend for a month, in the hospital with no change. By this point I was beyond frustrated. I consulted this wonderful site, and they said to wait it out. I went against their directions and about 11:30 pm, I woke my husband up and back to the hospital we went.

My baby and his feeding tube.

My baby and his feeding tube.

Saturday, July 14, 2012, 5:30 am. My little baby boy decided to grace us with his presence. After almost ripping a nurses face off so that I could push, I finally got to meet the little boy who insisted on coming to join this crazy world earlier than he should have. They had gave me a shot for his lungs a month before so he was breathing just fine. Eating, however, wasn’t going so well. He had a tube in his nose most of the time he was in the hospital, and he was in the hospital for a week. That was the hardest thing in the world to watch. A nurse told me that we could only stay two nights in a room off the nursery. So, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday night, hubby and I drove literally 10 minutes away to our town house to sleep as much as we could through crying, just to get up the next morning and drive another 10 minutes back to the hospital. Friday, a doctor (my favorite one by the way) told us that he didn’t care what anyone said, we could stay as long as he was there. The next day he went home.

His smash cake. The box was like four times bigger than the actual cake. So we were all surprised when the cake was like three inches tall and the box was like a foot tall!

His smash cake. The box was like four times bigger than the actual cake.

Sunday, July 14, 2013, 2:00 pm. My little man’s first birthday!!! Now, this birthday party. It couldn’t be easy, ya know, since it was the first. Something HAD to go wrong. A week before the party, I moved it from Saturday to Sunday because my mother in law had a float trip on Saturday. She had already spent money on the float trip, meaning she had already bought the alcohol for the float trip. So, not very many people showed up to the party. But we still had fun! However, I ended up wearing more cake than little man did!

After he smeared cake all over his face. Yes, he looks like he ate a smurf.

After he smeared cake all over his face. Yes, he looks like he ate a smurf.

Then he got done and stuck his pacy in his mouth.

Then he got done and stuck his pacy in his mouth.

After he got done playing in the cake, he had a bath and went outside with my in-laws. A few of my friends who came to the birthday stayed inside with me. I went to the bathroom and came out and had what was left of the smash cake thrown at me. I then proceeded to scream bloody murder because my friend’s wife scared the ever-loving crap out of me. The cake landed face up on the tile floor, so, of course, I grabbed and took off after her. And a cake fight ensued. After the cake fight ended and it was all cleaned up, my in-laws left and I noticed some cake sitting on the high chair still. My friend’s wife had her son laying on her, so we asked hubby to go around the corner to get her some potato salad. (Hubby was yet to be wearing any cake.) So I hid around the corner and attempted to smash cake in his face. I somewhat got him. But, I mostly just got potato salad smashed in my hair. Sadly, I do not have a picture of that. Potato salad smells horrible to me and it was all I could do not to get sick waiting to get into the bathroom to wash it out. But, I do have a picture of me wearing the cake!! So here ya go, laugh it up!! I sure did!!

The girl on the left is my friend's wife and I'm on the right. Obviously, I lost the cake fight. I was laughing way to hard to really fight back.

The girl on the left is my friend’s wife and I’m on the right. Obviously, I lost the cake fight. I was laughing way to hard to really fight back.


Search Terms (Volume 2)

So. To everyone that found my blog accidentally because you were looking for something else. Welcome. Nice to meet you. Nice to see you. Yada, yada, yada. You guys have been looking for some CRAZY ASS sh*t…. Seriously.

Category OneIn which people think I’m a different race and are intrested in hair.

hairstyle for round face asian
japanese cute hairstyles curly
nude asian redheads
dass hairstyles

K. So. Everyone knows that I’m whiter than white, right? Like seriously. I glow in the dark. I’m not Asian in any way, shape, or form. Everyone understand? Great.

Now, for the hair styles. I guess there is a salon in Texas called Dass salon and spa. So I guess people where look up them? As for the Asian styles, can’t help ya there guys.. Sorry.

Category Two. In which we have daddy’s, best friends, and some awkward moments.

daddy girls moms live
i’m only 11 daddy
daddy’s girl
best friends
best friends bilder
best friends pictures

First off, it builder. Spelled with a u. Second, why do you need a best friend builder?! Best friends are made over a life time. Yeah you can strengthen the relationship by getting to know each other but I don’t know what a best friend builder will do. Have you learned to spell builder yet?

I don’t know if the world has made me think the worst or what, but I don’t know want to know what the I’m only 11 one is about. And moms live? What is that?! Geez…

Category Three. In which we have everything else.

search term volume
will arkids pay for ear nose throat
spring images
xdanigirl wordpress
sexy man candy pics

First. Bubbles are fun. Bubbles are nice. Who doesn’t like bubbles?! Bubbles and spring images seem like the would go together. Right? Second. Someone apparently likes reading about search terms. Because they found my blog! Third. Heaven knows I talk about sexy man candy enough that SOMEONE should find my blog because of it.

Someone was actually looking for my WordPress account, guys!! Look!! I’m famous!! Okay no not really but I can dream.

Will ArKids pay for ear, nose, and throat? Yes, yes they will. IF you have a referral from your doctor. If the original referral has expired, you will need to get another one. If you have changed doctors since the referral expired, you will need to let your doctor know and go to their office and have  check up and let them issue another referral. If you do not have a referral you will have to pay for the visit your self. It will be an out-freaking-rageous price for whatever you need done. So, I suggest you do everything in your power to get a referral. 


And there ya go. There are our search terms for the month of May! Come back next month for more fun and awkwardness!!


What kind of truth is this?!

Guys. This truth. It’s a horrible one!! The scenario: your best friend is in a car accident and you two got in a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Well, there are a lot of factors here to consider. Is she in the hospital? Was she drinking? Was her son with her? How hurt is she? Lets just say that she is, indeed in the hospital, not with anything life threatening. Her sweet baby boy was not with here and no she was not drinking.

I would drive as fast as possible to the hospital and probably get pulled over. (Because the cops in my town just don’t care that you only have half a face of make up on and you are rushing to your sick best friends bedside. You are still doing 80 in a 55 zone. Here’s your ticket, try and slow it down, and I hope your friend is okay, have a nice day.) I would sprint through the hospital yelling at the poor nurses to let me in her room before I draw more attention to myself (which isn’t possible at this point). I would then get in her room, cry, and apologize profusely even though her arm is just broken and she is just waiting on the doctor come put a cast on it.

The whole way over there, I would have been imagining some thing waaaaaaaaaay worse than it actually was. Like bones protruding from skin, internal bleeding, brain hemorrhage. You know, the works.

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No Words Can Describe This Feeling…

It’s just….I mean….I can’t…. OhmygoodnessIcan’tevendescribewhat’sgoingoninmyheadrightnow!!!!!!!! Guys!!! I got nominated for an award!!!!! The wonderful Alicia Benton nominated me for the “I Mustache You A Question” award!!! 😀

My first award!!!

My first award!!!

The rules for this award are, as follows:

  1. Add the awesome badge to your blog. (So everyone will know how awesome you are)
  2. Thank the person who nominated you. (Duh how impolite would that be…)
  3. Answer your nominator’s question. (Can be as long or short as you want)
  4. Nominate two bloggers for the award to keep it going. (Obviously not the person that nominated you…)
  5. Ask the new winners a question! (Ask them anything you want!)

Thank you Alicia!! This is amazing! My first award!! Now, for your viewing pleasure I give you the comment I posted on Alicia’s post when I saw this:

“Oh. Me. Sweet Mary mother of all things good and chocolaty in the world. I just almost peed my self, jumped up and screamed “YES!!!” in the middle of my quiet office, and almost cried!!! This is my first award!!! I can’t even..I’m just…I don’t even know!!! THANK YOU!!!! :D

And now. My nominations are….. (drum roll please)

The London Diaries

Stephanie, I’m pretty sure you are my blog sister!! You are
from like one state away so that’s also a plus!


Guys if you haven’t checked out her blog stop what
you are doing and go. NOW! I can only hope
to write (and drink) as well as her!!

My question to you wonderful ladies: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be, why would you go there, and what would you do? I’m sure that’s a pretty tame question, but bear (bare?) with me!! I’m still learning the ropes!!

And to answer Alicia’s question: If you could have a whole weekend with no kids to worry about and chase around, what would you do?  What would your fantasy weekend consist of?

Oh geez… That’s a hard one… It would of course involve a bottle of wine, or four. (No, guys, I’m not an alcoholic. Just go drink a bottle of Mascato D’asti and tell me it isn’t the most amazing thing on the planet. Even better than chocolate! Oh yes, ladies. I went there!!) It would probably also involve a massage from a very handsome masseur.

Actually. What I would do is grab my best friend and road trip down to Destin, Florida. (With the wine. Definitely with the wine.) We would then lay out on the beach allll day. (In this fantasy, we have bodies of Goddesses and all the guys check us out!) Then, we would hit the clubs and go dance the night away.

The next morning, after we sleep off out wicked hangovers, we would go shopping and spend the day at the spa. Sipping on something delish and alcoholic. (Come one, I don’t have the kids with me I can do that!) After our amazing massages, it’s hair and nails, and then dancing the night away yet again. (We like live music and dancing, don’t judge.)

Back at the beach bright and early gettin’ our tans on once again!! Just cillaxin! We would of course spend all day here until we are a beautiful brown. And then we would fly home. First class. Because, honestly, who wants to road trip back after that relaxing weekend? Nope. Just too much stress. (The car would obviously be a rental. I would not leave my car down there. Nooooo siree!!)

But Alicia, thanks again for the award!! You just made my day!!!


Sorry Guys!!

Ohmigosh guys!! Things have been so crazy lately!! I’ve gotten so many comments on my Speakeasy and Challenge Grid stories!! Keeping up with all them has kinda taken away from my whole writing. Plus Wednesday was my 21st birthday!! Woo Wooo!!!! Saturday night I went out with my hubby and found a new favorite drink!! Sex on the beach. Oh. My. Sweet Mary Mother of all things Good and Chocolaty!!! I’ve never had a more delicious drink in. My. Life!!!! Ladies. If you haven’t tried it, I strongly suggest you go to your local bar IMMEDIATELY!!!  It’s amazing. Just. Just. Words cannot describe. I had four of them babies last night!! Woo!

Anyways. I may or may not post, in great detail, about my fun time at the bars. My lovely best friend got beyond wasted and somewhat ruined it. Before then my hubby and I were just chillin’ at a restaurant and then in the front of a bar. So it was a very laid  back night until she showed up.

BUT!! There will be a new post up soon! I’m entering the Challenge and Speakeasy Grid again this week. So be on the look out for those and go check out the other submissions and vote for the best ones!!


P.S. GUYS!! I didn’t win the Speakeasy or Challenge Grid, BUUUUT! I did win a gift certificate for a doll or a quilt. I’m asking the lovely ladies at Yeah Write to give the generous gift to someone else, as I have boys and about 15,000 quilts from every grandmother on both sides of my family. They tend to get hard to store after a while…

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